What the gcb didn't know wouldn't have hurt him

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Episode 1: The Corona bus ruined our ruin plans
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So, I was in Interlaken. I had gone from a 2-night stay to a 4-night stay. The 4th night was free, the Hostel played free movies every night, and I was enjoying the company of the odd couple (Andy & Houston) and two Aussies. One of the Aussies was named Michael, and he was such a Northwest indie-rocker that his Australian accent kept catching me off guard. He was a good fellow and I told him the Northwest US was his spiritual home. I think he thought I was crazy.

Andy was planning on heading to Zurich with me the next day, but he was determined to have a campfire on our last night in Interlaken. I told him about the castle ruins with firepits and he was excited. We recruited a crew, and we made a plan. The plan went all to hell when the Hostel owner came around and told us that the "Corona Bus" was coming.

us: "What's the Corona Bus?"
owner: "It's a double-decker party that drives around the lake."
us: "Is the Corona expensive?"
owner: "It's free."
us: "The first one is free?"
owner: "It's all free. As much as you want."
us: "fuck off, we're not that gullible."
---owner leaves, Michael walks up---
Michael: "Hey mates, getting on the Corona bus?"
us: "It has to be a scam."
Michael: "Naw, I did it last night, it was excellent. I had like 6 Coronas for free."
us: "What's the catch?"
Michael: "No catch, mate! You should do it."
us: "Do they charge 20 Francs for the restroom or something?"
Michael: "No man, it's just free Coronas."
us to everyone: "There's a Corona bus coming, and the only catch is that the Corona is free!"

We cancel our campfire plans and wait for the Corona bus. Which is late and overfilled. I pass the time by angering my companions (especially Houston) with my "Baseball is not a sport" theory.

When the vehicle finally arrives, a mad rush to occupy the remaining space gets only Andy onboard, and he hops off right away to rejoin Houston & me. We're all sad that we didn't get free Corona, and can't get the energy up to go have our campfire anymore because our depression has sapped our energy.

We learned 2 things: 1. The catch is that everyone wants free Corona and there's not enough room for you, you damn fool. 2. The Corona Bus ruins everything.

Also, I made friends with a Swiss cat. The absence of a language barrier was refreshing:




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Episode 2: Cutting costs in new and exciting ways
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Andy & I, on our way to Zurich, went completely the opposite direction into Bordeax in French Switzerland, to see a sweet castle:



That's Andy in front. Since he's French, he played guide, reading the French signs and talking to the French speakers during our day in Bordeax. This setup an unfortunate precedent for our next stop.

We headed to German-speaking Zurich next, and I got to play guide. The inevitable result was that, after a late-evening arrival and a lazy dinner, we could find neither a good place to go out nor a good place to go in.

We eventually stumbled across the university track & curled up on the high-jump mats for a pleasant, if chilly, night's sleep. Actually, I was quite warm as I sleep curled into a ball; Andy was flat on his back with lots of surface area exposed, and he shivered through the night.

The sun and the dew woke us quite early, and we spent the day exploring Zurich in a smelly, slightly-zombified state. Exhausted as we were, we borrowed free bikes (coated in advertisements) and crawled them up to the biggest hill in the area for a panoramic view which was a little disappointing. However, the bike-ride down the hill was excellent.

I can't do justice to Zurich after only one brain-addled day, so I'll just show you this picture from the train station:



Having collaborated on a significant number of dangerous, unhealthy, and/or ridiculous behaviors, Andy & I said our goodbyes as he hopped on a train back to Interlaken. I walked to a random gate and got aboard the first train out of town. It happened to be headed to Vienna.

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Episode 3: Crimes & Misdemeanors in & around lovely Vienna
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I quickly met 3 people on the train. I was sitting with a Viennese fellow who's name escapes me, and across from two Russian-born (& Russian-speaking with each other) New Yorkers on break from Rutgers. We'll call them "The Ruskies" because I can't remember their names, either. We were doing the standard traveller introductions when the scary-looking Austrian police took over our car, demanding passports from everyone and guarding the exits.

They checked a few passports, and then one of the cops pulled down a big bag from just behind the Ruskies & opened it. The pungent smell of marijuana spread quickly throughout the car, and an interrogation of the people sitting below the bag commenced.

A good deal of questioning took place (none of me or the Ruskies), and it was confirmed that two fellows had dropped off the bag and then wandered out of the car. We soon saw them dragged off the train in cuffs.

The next day, while seeing the sites with the Ruskies, (in a palace garden labyrinth:)



we were discussing Amsterdam. I asked them if they had tried the pot there, and they asked me if I wanted to try some right then. They had sat there on the train the entire time with marijuana in the next bag down the line.

The Ruskies left Vienna and I attempted to spend a quiet night, away from the Hostel's bar, in the kitchen. There I met 5 Italians who were playing a game. They invited me & two other Americans to join. The game involved a lot of singing in Italian and drinking.

As I can neither sing nor speak Italian, I could only participate in the drinking bit. The quiet night went quickly out the window, but I made 5 new Italian friends and wandered the town with them for a couple of days. Here they are, with a Viennese fellow on the left and a Malaysian guy I played the best pool of my life with on the right:



The Italians convinced me to stop paying for the subway with this unarguable point: "The Austrians, they will pay for tickets because it is a rule, so no one checks for tickets!" (Austrians, like Germans, won't cross the street against the light even with no cars in site. I think it's some sort of cultural respect for structure, which is of course completely foreign to Italians and Americans) Indeed, I was never asked for a ticket. In Vienna.

I spent 8 nights in Vienna and enjoyed it very much. The German was clearer than in Switzerland, the city-center was a barrage of palaces, museums, cathedrals, and beautiful parks, and I felt like I could have spent a month there and barely touched the surface.

However, my Eurail pass was nearing its end and I had to keep moving. I decided on Budapest and headed there with a Louisvillian young lady named Lana who I had just met, and who was going the same way. We ended up talking when we somehow got separated from a large group of travelers going out to the same club by beating them to the subway. Neither of us knew where we were going, and we couldn't find the group.

This failure was not, at the time, recognized for the sign that it was.

More on that in the next entry, to be posted soon.