an older dog, still learning tricks

Back to Oakland on Monday to see the Rob "The Haggler" Ross and his mischievous accomplice/wife Meghan. They snatched me away from the bus station and zoomed up to Berkeley, to precisely the street I had wandered about a week ago with Mark Kramer.

The Haggler struck first at the pipe store, where his suggested deal made the proprietor exclaim, "You've just taken away all my profits!" That was the Haggler's signal to make a run for it, so we went shopping for hats.

Here's where Megs got her mischief on:

Haggler: "That's a $20 hat!"
Mischiefer: "I like it."
Haggler: "That's a $20 hat! Aren't there any on sale?"
Mischiefer: "It's one-size-fits-all. We can both wear it, so that's like 2 hats for $20."
Haggler: "What a deal! We're buying it."
Mischiefer: <mischievous grin visible only to me>

It should be noted that the dynamic duo were on passover dietary restrictions, so The Haggler attempted to live vicariously through me, pushing me into every pizza-slicer on the avenue to consume leavened breads galore. Or whatever it is. I talked the talk but couldn't take on slice #2.

Later, I learned what a "real caesar salad" was (it was pretty good) while watching the Haggler convince an apple to play the role of the real pipe he didn't purchase. Then I learned what the furthest thing from real tequila was, straight from the plastic bottle. It was a mistake.

Rob's parents put me up for the night, they were fabulous hosts and fed me well. And enthusiastically. And mostly Kosher.

A swung back through Stanford, seeing the Gwyn (finally returned from a conference) briefly before negotiating busses and trains to Santa Cruz and the Legendary Uncle Dave:




On the bus, I was the first person who had to sit next to someone. You know, all the seats are in pairs and every pair has one person in it? So I sat next to some innocuous looking guy and pulled out my book. He was, for some reason I could not determine, completely uncomfortable from there on out. Like I had chosen him for some special reason. I wanted to turn to him and say, "Look, I'm not going to hit on you. If you don't want people to sit next to you, stop looking so goddamn innocuous!"

Two nights with Uncle Dave (I'd come out for his weekend: Wednesday/Thursday), so the first night was just a warmup. We decided that we'd take it easy by having only one beer at any given location. Anyone who has ever played beer golf realizes that this isn't really a sufficient limiting factor.

We started with a light beer at his neighborhood pub.

Then another with dinner at a Crepes place- where Uncle Dave bumped into two old acquaintances- he's like a local celebrity. There was also a law student sitting next to us at the bar doing her homework. I'll remember that technique next time I'm in school. Dave told me about his visit to Spain, where he found the prime spot by the pool at my Dad & Ilka's place. I was ordered to find it when I arrived.

We finished our beers and went into the center of town to find a Guinness... and we did, but the place was pretty dead, so we had to move on pretty quick. Meanwhile, Uncle Dave gave me another assignment: a hotel in the middle of all the fun in Madrid.

On to our last stop (where Dave explained on the way in: "This is an Irish pub. They don't serve *any* English beers.") where we had half-and-halfs. Ordering a black & tan would have been a mistake, since that involves an English beer (Bass). Uncle Dave told me that I had to go to Ireland (he had never been) and tell me how the Guinness was there (3 assignments already!). And, for chrissake, don't ask for a black & tan there. Half & Half. It was here, also, that I discussed my recent tequila drinking adventures- and Uncle Dave gave me a stern talking to: About the importance of drinking *real* tequila, and how to identify it. I'll be passing this lesson on soon, but I can only communicate it in person. So don't forget to ask.

We returned to Dave's place, where we had another beer. See photo above!

I woke up Thursday, my birthday, around noon. I almost sunburned myself (again) having coffee & scone. Dave gave me a tour of a pretty street in San Jose, pointed out The Cats statues at Los Gatos, and took me to the Apple Store so I could give *him* a tour. Appropriate that I should celebrate the end of my 26th year giving out some computer advice! (he's going to get a MacMini, probably)

I received a number of phone calls from friends wishing me a good birthday, which was very sweet but gave Uncle Dave the impression that I was a bit of a cell phone addict... I turned it off before dinner.

We had some excellent Thai food and a bottle of wine, then scurried off to Dave's favorite bar: 99 Bottles. Live music and a fun crowd complemented a few drinks, and Dave and I stumbled back to his place eventually, where we took this picture, proving that I managed to wear Uncle Dave out:




I stuck around one more day to see Dave at work. Met Dave's old friends Alex, visiting from Seattle, and Bill in the morning. We all sat down on the beach near Dave's place, admiring the decaying cement boat that was a restaurant & tourist attraction before it crumbled. Forgot the camera, but here is an official photo. We tossed a softball around.

Visited an Internet Cafe and then wandered into Stagnaros Brothers where I admired a beautiful bay, watched some birds fly over my head, and Uncle Dave served me up an amazing garden burger, a sampling of beers, and a taste of the afore-mentioned 'real tequila' before I had to race off to catch a bus back to Stanford. I also met a fellow who is going to bicycle from Alaska to the Antarctic Circle along the west coast of the Americas. My backpack feels less heavy after imagining that.

I got back to Stanford and was immediately whisked away, by Frunch & Dahlia (sp?), to a party. We got the party rolling, met an old classmate of Big Andy Karlson's (Andrea Les?), stormed the dance floor (yes, Frunch is still included. No I don't have pictures..), and then took off. I don't have evidence, but I'm pretty sure we killed the party with our departure.

Frunch & Gwyn then taught me how to play Mario Power Tennis.

New tricks learned:
haggling with Rob
differentiating real tequila
playing Mario Power Tennis
how to follow the weekend!

gcb (back in Stanford)